I Finally Feel Like an Adult

After approximately six months without flossing I have flossed six out of the last seven days.

New York Doll

Last weekend I went and saw a great movie with my wife. It was one of the best movies that I have seen for a while. It was a documentary about Arthur "Killer" Kane of the New York Dolls. The documentary was screened at the Sundance Film Festival and this week it is playing at the Broadway Theater in Salt Lake City. I understand that it is beginning a wider distribution this week. I would highly recommend it.

On Friday the films director, Greg Whiteley, was at the Broadway to answer questions after each showing. I always enjoy that. There is one part in the movie where the lead singer of the New York Dolls, David Johansen, and Killer were talking about the ten commandments and David says that he is in good shape because he keeps all but one of them and he is working on that one. In the Q&A session after the movie Greg said that for a long time David wanted to see a cut of the film. Finally when he saw it he said that he just wanted Greg to change one thing. He wanted Greg to make him seem like less of an asshole. Greg said that there were three scenes that really made the movie and they all involved David being an asshole. One of them was the commandments scene. In the cut that David saw originally David went on to say the commandment that he doesn't keep. David said that it would be better if that were left out because people would think that it was murder.

A Special Treat at the Trans Jordan Landfill

This is a sign at the landfill that we go to occasionally. I remembered to take my camera this time.

Dodge Ram 2500

I have been meaning to post a picture of my truck for my brother. Here you go bro.

Memorial Day 2005

This was the view from our window.

The Last Minute Merge

Yesterday I was sort of racing a Mustang on the freeway in my Dodge Ram 2500 and I realized that a lot of funny and exciting things happen to me while I am driving. That is why I have decided to change the theme of my blog.

This morning I was driving to school and I was headed for the freeway. Where I get on the freeway there are two left hand turning lanes from a larger street onto a smaller street and then the east and west bound freeway on ramps are on the right. The west bound ramp is first and then the east bound ramp is farther down. For some reason people that are going to get on the west bound ramp always use the inside turn lane and then they have to merge through all of these other people to get to the ramp. There are always fewer people in the inside turn lane, but why do people have to be retarded and almost kill me just to save a few seconds. This morning I was in the lane closest to the on ramps and I was a little bit behind another car in the other lane. There wasn't enough room for a car to change lanes between us. Another car started to come up close to the car in the other lane. I could see what he was going to do. As a side note, I have a pet peeve about this. If you are going to come over into my lane and there isn't enough room you better signal or you're not coming over. I will close the gap if I think that someone is going to try and sneak in. On the other hand if you just signal I will make all of the room that I can for you to get over. So, I thought that I had closed the gap sufficiently so that he wouldn't even try to get over. I was wrong. He came anyway. I had to go onto the shoulder and he just kept going across the shoulder onto the onramp that we had already passed. I laid on the horn for a while but the guy was gone so fast that I think all that I accomplished was to make the driver of the van in front of me think that I was dissatisfied with her driving in some way.

My Most Recent Near Death Experience

Every year about this time we have a work party and we go snowmobiling at Daniels Summit. The last two years we have gone a little bit earlier and there has been a lot of fresh snow. This year it hadn't snowed for a while and a lot of the snow was packed. The last two years all I really wanted to do was get the sled off of the ground. This year the conditions made it possible to get off of the ground easily. I went a little bit down the trail from the lodge with one of my buddies, Tim, and I saw this perfect jump. It looked like a table that I would jump on my snowboard. I thought that it was perfect. I took a run at it. Onlookers later told me that they thought that I was about 6 feet in the air and traveled about 20 feet. The landing was nearly perfect. I did hit my lip on the rubber bar that goes across the top of the handle bars. In retrospect that should have been foreshadowing of what was to come. By this time most of our enormous group was nearby on the trail. My friend Tim also hit the jump and it was awesome. It was everything that I had always wanted from snowmobiling. I went around to do it again. I had been rather cautious that first time because I didn't really know what to expect. The second time I threw caution to the wind. As I flew through the air the nose dipped down. By the time I hit the ground the sled was nearly vertical. The nose went into the ground and the sled fell forward and to the right, ending up upside down. I, of course, came off of the sled. My head was the first thing to contact the snow. I had scratches on my neck from my helmet getting pressed between my head and shoulder. My helmet was not fastened properly and it flew off after I hit the ground. I got up quickly. I wasn't in a lot of pain. I have hit my head a lot harder than that before. Both nostrils started bleeding and for a short time I thought that I may have done some permanent damage to my neck. A little over a week later I am back to normal with no permanent damage. I feel extremely lucky. I didn't fully understand the potential risks associated with snowmobiling. Due to my propensity to act and then think, I am sure it won't be the last time something like this happens.

Say No To Crack

Last night I was at my grandparent's house with my dad and my dad's brother, Chuck, was there. As I was leaving I saw some cool DVS shoes. Those are like my dream shoes. Anyway, I wondered whose they were and my uncle Chuck said that they were his. Then he said, “Wait, let me give you the full effect.” I thought that he was going to come over and model them or something and then he started to sag his pants. They are skate shoes so you have to sag your pants. Then he turned around and there was his crack in all of its glory. I'm not talking about the top part of the crack that is not that uncommon to see either. This was serious crack. That was the full effect.

Jon Heder's Tragic Death

I found some more articles about Jon Heder not being dead.

Cleveland.com
Snopes.com
NinjaPirate.com
The last one is fake but funny. The whole site is funny in a mildly offensive sort of way.

Killing People Is Consuming Me

I have gotten quite a few contracts to kill people recently. I have been trying to do it with as much stealth as possible so that I don’t have to kill a lot of other people. Witnesses are a pain. It is pretty stressful. It is consuming me. I think about it day and night. I can’t get away from it. When I am not killing people I am thinking about the best way to do it without getting caught, or different ways that I could accomplish it, or different weapons that I could use. I didn’t realize that it would be so stressful. I am, of course talking about a great video game called Hitman: Contracts. You should check it out so you can be a hitman like me.

A Star is Born

I am going to be a dad soon. I never thought that this day would come. Spiz is due August 25. This will be a great opportunity for me to start living vicariously through my children. I can't wait. It doesn't even seem real yet. It seems so weird to think that this little thing growing inside of my wife is part me. There will be a little Ben or a little Kim running around in no time, then before you know it we will have a family band. Here is Spiz's first picture.

Napoleon Dynamite Dead in a Car Accident?

Recently just about everyone that happens across this blog ends up here because they think that Jon Heder died in a car accident. It just so happens that a combination of my posts puts me high on the search findings. I thought that I would try and do everyone a favor and see what I can find out. I have spent a few hours doing research and I cannot find anything to substantiate these rumors. I believe that he is alive and well. I think that if it were more than a rumor then there would be more information out there. I found some photos of him at the Sundance Film Festival and he was on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno on February 2. If I find out anything more my readers will be the first to know.

Social Security and You

Following are two quotes that I found concerning Social Security reform.

"Most of us have no problem with taking a small amount of the Social Security proceeds and putting it into the private sector."[1]

"[By] 2013, payroll taxes will no longer be sufficient to cover monthly payments. And by 2032, the trust fund will be exhausted, and Social Security will be unable to pay out the full benefits older Americans have been promised... I propose that we... [invest] a small portion in the private sector just as any private or state government pension would do. This will earn a higher return and keep Social Security sound for 55 years."[1]

Judging by today's political climate you might think that these quotes came from Republicans. You would be wrong. Both of these quotes were made in 1999. The first was Senator Harry Reid, current Senate Minority Leader. The other was made by Preisdent Clinton during his 1999 state of the union address. This brings an important question to my mind. Has the Social Security situation changed so much over the last six years that it no longer needs reform? My understanding is that it continues to get worse. My opinion on the matter is that if I know something is going to go bad, then I am going to do what I need to to correct it, no matter how long I might have until a catastrophic failure. I wonder if Democrats are getting so desperate that they have to change their views on issues just to disagree with President Bush.

[1] Babson Free Press

The kipper

That is how I like to refer to him. My wife told me that Aaron Ruell doesn't look anything like his character, Kip, in Napoleon Dynamite. I wanted to find out for myself so I went looking for pictures of him. I found some at the Internet Movie Database. He looks like he listens to emo. I also heard that he presented a short film at the Sundance Film Festival this year. It turns out that the movie is called Everything's Gone Green. I'll let you know if I can get my hands on it.

If you run across a Schmath in the woods don't panic, she is probably more frightened than you are.

For as long as I can remember I have wanted to learn how to breakdance. I think that learning how to break dance might have more influence on my coolness factor than anything else that I could possibly do. This week I found out that I can take a class two nights a week for $72 a month. I would say that increasing my coolness factor is well worth $72 a month, that's only $9 an hour. Now if I just had two free nights a week I would be all set.

I happened upon this great blog. It is relatively new. Lefty writes about his experiences as a criminal trying to go straight. I find it very entertaining. If you have some free time you should check it out.

My Life of Crime

Big News

I’m totally serious. I enjoy politics and I get really worked up about it. I like to learn all I can about issues and share my opinions with people, especially when they disagree. I would like to make a difference, or at least make an effort at it. For that reason I am tentatively announcing my candidacy for President of the United States in 2020 or 2024. I’ll see you at the polls.

More unrelated big news coming soon.

Let’s get Nuclear Wasted

In his state of the state address the new Governor of Utah, Jon Huntsman, Jr. pledged to the people that he would do everything in his power to pass a law to forbid B and C level nuclear waste from entering Utah. To preface this you should know that I consider myself to be somewhat of an anti-environmentalist. I might even go so far as to say that I hate environmentalists. I feel that they are holding back the progress of our society and technology on many fronts. I believe that we need to protect this earth and preserve it, but I consider the environmentalists that I hear about in the news to be extremists, bordering on domestic terrorists. I believe that nuclear power is the power of the future. We know that fossil fuels are a finite resource and we use them for many things apart from fuel. Plastics are made from petroleum. Think of all of the things that are plastic that you use every day. Imagine health care without plastic products. I think that we need to take measures to preserve our fossil fuels, and an excellent alternative is nuclear power. I don’t have any concrete proof, but I would venture to guess that if you take everything into account then nuclear power is still cleaner than coal or natural gas for power production. If you have ever been to the west desert of Utah you might agree with me that if nuclear waste has to go somewhere then there might not be any place better than the west desert. It could be stored safely there indefinitely and Utah could benefit greatly from the deal. I think that a lot of people don’t know that if Utah passes up on this opportunity then it will most likely find its way to Goshuite lands in Skull Valley which are even closer to Salt Lake than Envirocare. Utah can’t tell them what to do with their land. I say bring the nuclear waste.

Star

I think that Star would be a great name for a girl. I don’t know any girls named Star and I am not a hippie. I have always been a big three eleven fan. I think that they have actually had an impact on my life. When I was in high school I was an aggressive in-line street skater. It sounds lame when I say it now, but believe me, back then it was cool. There was this great movie called the Hoax: Anarchy Across America. I think that it was the third in the Hoax series. It was great. It exposed me to great musicians like 311, Sublime, Guttermouth, Biohazard, and Type-O Negative. It was a defining moment in my punk-rock life. I loved all of the bands and I especially loved 311 and Sublime. If you are familiar with 311 you may know that Nick throws in a Star here and there as a pronoun. That is what made me think that it would be a great name for my daughter, if I ever have one. I just hope that I can convince my sweet wife that Star Dubois is a great name. She’ll probably never go for it now that she knows it is directly related to my love for 311.

The time I tried to be a promoter

In the not so distant past I took a shot at being a concert promoter. I thought that would be cool. Actually, I still think that it would be cool. Unfortunately it turned out to be more difficult than I originally anticipated. Here is how it went down. My friend Bryant called me and told me that our friend Andy had a friend named Rob with a band named New Years End. (I don’t know why it doesn’t have an apostrophe, it just doesn’t.) This was right before some break at school, summer I think. I don’t remember which one for sure, but I do remember thinking that it might be a problem because all of the students would be out of town. Anyway, I didn’t have high hopes because I was only given a week to put together something and the majority of students would be gone. I felt pretty cool going into it because when I got a hold of Rob I was in Las Vegas hanging out at the Venetian. Somehow that just made it feel official. We both convinced each other that we knew more about what we were talking about than we really did. I agreed to set up the time and place, provide sound equipment and do some promotion. In the process of securing sound equipment I found another band to open the show. They were the ones with the sound equipment. They were called One Night Band and it was their first show. Their first show was supposed to be the following night. You may have guessed by the name of the band that I screwed up the whole concept. I went down to Provo the night before and met the band and passed out some fliers. It was fun. I wasn’t really expecting them to be just kids. I think there was some lack of communication. I told Rob that there would not likely be many people there and not to expect too much because of the reasons stated above. Unfortunately he invited another band that he knew from Boise, Idaho. Their name is bank. They don’t capitalize it on their website so I am not going to either. They drove all the way down to Provo and I think about six people came to the show. Actually I guess it was more like fourteen. Most of them were Rob’s sister’s friends. I was frustrated because these guys from Boise were real musicians and I felt like Rob had misled them when he invited them and it fell on me. I know that they lost money on the deal. They were by far the best band of the night, and they had some cool t-shirts for sale. I know that they were disappointed, but they had a good attitude about it. It was a fun experience, but I don’t think that I want to do it again. I feel like I can’t guarantee anything and I don’t like to operate like that. I think that I would have to be more into the scene to pull something like that off. If you are reading this and you have a band and you want to play in Provo, I know a great little Mexican restaurant called Café Del Sol where you can play for free and split your profits with the owner. It seems like such a great idea on the surface.

If you have been wondering which religion is the correct religion then this little clip may be just what you have been looking for.

The Correct Religion